Someone Always Loved You Read online

  “Sorry to bother you, Mr. James, Sir,” Jay stuttered, wringing his hands. “I just…”

  Seeing his distress and discomfort, Cory pointed to the chair across the room, “Sit down, Son. What’s your name?”

  “Uh, my name? Jay, Sir…Jay Bartlett.”

  “You can call me Cory. Now, what can I do for you? You look awfully familiar…wait…weren’t you in my wife’s room when I visited yesterday?”

  “Yes, Sir. That was me, Sir.”

  “Call me Cory.”

  “Cory. Okay.” Jay had no idea it would be this hard. If he’d had any fingernails left, he would have chewed them to a nub right then and there. “I just came to apologize…you know,” Jay stumbled, “about your wife…see if there was anything I can do.”

  “Why, Jay,” Cory slapped his hands to his knees. “What could you possibly do? I appreciate the thought and all, but you’re no doctor. All any of us can do is pray that she’ll pull out of this...and soon.”

  “Well, Sir…I mean, Cory...I wanted to be the one to let you know…it’s just…I wanted to tell you in person….”

  Cory stared at Jay patiently, his gray eyes softening in light of the young man so hesitant with his own words. He wanted to hurtle across the room and pull the words out of his mouth just to put Jay out of his misery.

  A brief knock at the door interrupted Jay’s nonsensical rambling as a strong-jawed doctor in the perfunctory white lab coat entered the room.

  “Good morning. Sorry to interrupt,” the doctor said upon seeing Jay.

  “Not a problem, Doc.” Cory tore his eyes from Jay, planting them on the doctor. “What can we do for you?”

  “I think I’m supposed to ask that question,” said the doctor whose name badge read Rodriguez. “How are you feeling today, Cory? Did you get enough rest?”

  “That’s all I’m doing, Doc—rest…rest…rest. I’m going stir crazy. I have GOT to get out of here. My wife….”

  “I know, I know,” Dr. Rodriguez soothed sympathetically, placing a hand on Cory’s shoulder and pushing him gently back in his bed. “You’ll be no good to her if you aren’t one hundred percent. Now let me examine you so you can get back to your friend here.”

  As the doctor took out his stethoscope, Jay silently stood and vanished from the room. He doesn’t know, Jay thought. He has no idea it was me driving the ambulance that hit his wife.

  Making his way back to the elevator, his thoughts drowning his mind from any other function, Jay’s pocket vibrated with his forgotten cell phone. On the fourth ring, Jay finally realized where the motion originated and fished around in his pocket to retrieve the phone.

  “Yeah,” he answered irritated at the interruption of his thoughts.

  “Jay?” the sweet voice breathed hesitantly on the other end.

  “Madison,” Jay replied, knowing he had let his wife down yet again.

  “Where are you, Jay? You were supposed to go with me this morning.”

  As the time and date registered in his head, Jay slapped his forehead soundly with the palm of his hand. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. I lost my head. I had to get over to the hospital.”

  “To see that woman,” Madison stated.

  “She’s not just any woman, Maddy. Her name is Jordan James, and she’s my responsibility.”

  “No, Jay, you’re making her your responsibility. Being here to see your child for the first time in his or her life is your responsibility.”

  “You mean…”

  “Yes, they did the ultrasound, and our baby is perfect. You should have seen him. He was moving around like a monkey, like he knew the camera was there, and his mommy was looking at him,” Madison mused.

  “Wait a minute. You said ‘he,’ is it…?” Jay questioned, picking up on her subtle slip.

  “I don’t want to talk about this now, Jay. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  “Mad…” before Jay could even finish her name he heard the resolute click on the other line. She was gone.

  He couldn’t believe he’d let her down again. She had to realize the man he had been in the last few weeks was not the Jay with whom she had fallen in love. And she had to understand why. Just because they had created a new life didn’t give him the right to forget the one he had almost taken...or could still take if Jordan didn’t wake up from her coma soon.

  Jay squeezed his eyes shut, remembering how he felt the first time he talked to Madison. They had met on the internet of all places. Modern technology really could bring romantic miracles. Jay thought he was destined to be a bachelor for life. He was always a good friend to all of the girls--the guy they sought for solace when their jerk boyfriends messed up for the third or fourth time. He was the one they confided in and loved to hang out with, but never the guy they dated. Jay began to think something was wrong with him until Madison came along.

  Late in his college career, Jay was bored in his dorm room since all of his friends were on dates and no girls needing a shoulder to cry on. So, he logged on to the internet and began a night of surfing the web. He connected to a chat program and typed in the specifications for an individual with whom he would like to chat. Had to be a female, of course, though she would probably just tell him another sob story and then return to her boyfriend. Age range, 20-25. That was a narrow enough category for Jay; he didn’t care about specifics. He was lonely and just wanted to feel like there was someone out there that night.

  He hit search and waited as a list of screen names appeared. He scrolled down, reading the names, trying to find one that sounded decent. “MaddGirl001,” Jay whispered. “That sounds like every girl I know.” He continued scrolling down and had just clicked on “GuardianAngel” to send a message when a box popped up on his screen. Message from “MaddGirl001,” “Hey, wanna chat?”

  Great, sighed Jay. They must be able to smell me from miles away. I attract these girls like there is no tomorrow. Oh well, I may as well give in and chat. It’s not likely that any girl I pick would be any different.

  “Sure, MaddGirl, tell me all about it,” Jay typed.

  And so it began. Jay learned her name was Madison and that she was in school only an hour away from him. Surprisingly, she didn’t try to tell him a sob story. She didn’t mention a boyfriend or an ex or even a rotten class. She was bubbly and hilarious and just what he needed to pass the time. As Jay reluctantly signed off at 3:00 in the morning, he sighed. Why couldn’t a girl like that be interested in me? It had been the most fun conversation he’d had in the decade since he became interested in girls. He had enthusiastically shared his email address, but he’d probably never hear from her again. Jay was sure she was passing time just as he was.

  As he climbed into his bunk, Jay knew it would be a short, restless night as thoughts of the mysterious Madison haunted him. If she was half as attractive as her personality, she must be drop dead gorgeous. Jay tossed and turned until dawn, imagining her eyes, her hair, and her legs, until he finally drifted off to sleep.

  Much to his surprise, the next morning Jay had dozens of emails. As he sorted through his inbox he found the mandatory daily email from his mom, a large pile of junk mail, a message from a professor about an upcoming exam, and…wait…MaddGirl?

  Jay couldn’t move the mouse fast enough to open her email. “Hi Jay!” it read. Jay noticed it was sent just after 3:00 a.m. when they had said good-bye. “I just wanted to tell you how glad I am we met and let you know I really appreciate you laughing at my jokes. Of course, I guess I can’t tell if you were really laughing. Anyways, just write soon, okay?”

  It was sweet and simple, just as their whole conversation had been. For the next month, Jay continually rushed to his dorm room after class, heading straight for the computer to check for emails. In the library, between study sessions, he logged on to reply to Madison’s latest humorous episode. All he could think about during meals was how soon he could get out of there to check in with Madison again.

  Just when it seemed like thing
s could get no better for Jay, he received an email from Madison that included her phone number. “All my friends are going home for the weekend,” she wrote, “but I’m stuck here because of work so I’ll be pretty lonely if you don’t call.” Jay’s hands trembled as he wrote down the ten digit number in three places, already forming a plan of attack in his mind for the call.

  Jay practically shoved his friends out the door for their standard Friday night dates. “What’s the deal, Jay?” his friend exclaimed. “You got a girl coming over or something?” Their dates exchanged knowing glances. Jay didn’t have dates. He probably just wanted the room to himself to study or something.

  After the door was securely shut and locked, Jay paced the room, trying to slow his breathing and repeating his opening line, “Hi Madison. It’s Jay. You said you’d be lonely so….”

  When he was sure he could do no better Jay picked up the phone, dialing the first three numbers only to be interrupted by a knock. Hesitating, Jay replaced the phone in the cradle, and slowly opened the door to reveal Veronica, the prize of the campus. She was wearing a tight tank top and short skirt; her bleach blonde hair wasn’t picture perfect like normal, and there was mascara smudged down her cheeks.

  “Oh Jay,” she exclaimed, pushing her way into the room and throwing herself into his arms.

  Not tonight, Jay thought, I just can’t tonight.

  But as Veronica began to sob about the latest mean streak of her football jock boyfriend, Jay’s sympathetic side took over, and he listened and stroked her hair until she fell asleep with her head on his knees. He looked longingly at his phone from across the room. He could almost read all of the numbers from the scrap of paper lying beside it.

  Just as Jay contemplated dumping Veronica onto the floor, her big as a house boyfriend filled the doorway. She stirred as Jay cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Babe,” The House said, “you shouldn’t run out like that. I nearly wasted the whole night looking for you.”

  Wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands, Veronica tried to get rid of the evidence of her turmoil. “Sorry, Chip,” she muttered.

  “Come here,” he said, and Veronica moved to him like a robot without giving Jay a second glance. Chip wrapped his arm around the back of her neck. It almost looked like a head lock to Jay, but Veronica gazed up at Chip adoringly as he threw a warning look at Jay and led her down the hall.

  At last, Jay thought, glancing at his watch. It was almost midnight. He spent the next ten minutes trying to decide if it was too late before his fingers found a mind of their own and dialed the number he had been eyeing for the past two hours.

  “Hello?” a chipper voice answered.

  “Uh…hi…uh…Madison?”

  “Jay, is that you?”

  Jay smiled nervously. “Yep.”

  “I recognize your voice. Oh, I know that sounds silly, but you sound just like you type. Or, you sound just like I thought you would. Yeah, that makes more sense.”

  Jay listened to her ramble nervously, as he grinned from ear to ear. Four hours later, they decided to break the connection on the line, and then they spent half an hour arguing over who would hang up first.

  When Jay got his phone bill a few days later, his jaw dropped. He’d have to get more hours from the hospital janitorial staff. But as he thought about the phone conversations, he didn’t care because they were worth every cent. He knew he’d feel the same way as he cleaned the bathrooms and mopped the hospital floor, no matter how many extra hours he had to work.

  It had been only two weeks since they began talking on the phone when Jay stepped out of his comfort zone to boldly suggest they meet. He could tell Madison liked the idea, and they arranged a time and place for the very next weekend. At this point, Jay felt like he knew everything about her. He knew what size shoe she wore, what she wanted to be when she was a little girl, and what her mother cooked for Christmas dinner. The only thing he didn’t know was what she looked like.

  Because Jay was more computer savvy than Madison, he was able to send a picture of himself online. She, however, never could figure it out, so Jay was left in the dark. She told him she liked his appearance and couldn’t wait to give him a big hug. She thought he was cute, and she loved the black mass of curls atop his head. She described her short blonde hair and glasses. She sounded adorable, but he had no idea how surprised he would be the next weekend.

  They met nervously at a restaurant half way between their colleges. Despite never having seen a picture, Jay knew her right away. Madison bounced over to him like an excited school girl as he shoved his sweatshirt up on his forearms. When she threw herself into his embrace, he noticed how well she fit as his arms encircled her, and he excitedly twirled her around. Leaning back to get a good look at her, he immediately saw her beauty. She wasn’t conventionally gorgeous like so many of the girls accustomed to Jay’s shoulder, but the sparkle in her blue-green eyes, the gentle upturn of her nose, and the freckles on her cheeks combined to make the cutest sight Jay had ever seen.

  Madison squinted at him, brushing her straight blonde hair out of her face. “Your picture doesn’t do you justice, Jay.” Assuming that was a good thing, Jay squeezed her hand and led her into the restaurant. He never understood the idea of love at first sight, but since his introduction to the dating world through the internet, Jay learned to believe the unbelievable.

  CHAPTER 4

  “That’s unacceptable!” Cory sternly barked into the phone receiver, transmitting a very clear message to the person on the other line. “We simply cannot settle for that amount. I’m telling you to push them further, and we’ll either get what we really deserve, or we’ll go to trial.” Cory paused, listening for a moment. “Just because I’m not there to try the case doesn’t mean they aren’t running scared. Keep on them. They’re going to fold for more than that. Do it fast! Don’t give them time to formulate any kind of back up plan.”

  Hearing the agitation in his voice, Nurse Ester stuck out the heel of her hand to abruptly shove his door open, not bothering to knock as was the hospital custom. Ester folded her thick arms and tapped her foot impatiently as she threw the startled Cory a reprimanding look.

  “Okay, well, good to hear from you too,” Cory’s voice stated calmly, trying to cover the nature of his call, even though he knew it was far too late. Grinning sheepishly as he replaced the phone in its cradle, he shrugged and waited like a child for his lecture.

  “Mr. James!” nurse Ester scolded. “Don’t make me remove the phone from this room because I will!”

  “I’m sorry, Ester, it’s just…”

  “It’s always something with you, Cory. I don’t want to hear it. You need to make yourself the number one priority this time. No excuses!”

  Cory slumped his shoulders and dropped his chin to his chest, acting like a misbehaving child. Raising his eyes slowly to hers, he knew that his performance had worked.

  Ester placed her hands on her hips and tried to keep the smile from her eyes. “Now, are you ready to visit your wife or what?”

  Cory nodded emphatically, staying in his “kid” mode as he scooted to the side of the bed. Unable to be childlike in his motions any longer, he slowly planted his hands on either side of his hips and gradually elevated himself to the standing position. Nurse Ester unfolded the wheelchair across the room and rolled it closer to him.

  “Do we really have to use this thing? It’s only a short walk to the elevator and a two floor ride,” Cory protested.

  “Mr. James, I am under strict orders from your doctor that you are only allowed out of this room under cautious supervision.”

  “Yes, Ma’am!” Cory sank into the chair, grateful for its waiting support. The energy he had put into his childish charade coupled with standing on his own had worn him out. His body was not what it used to be.

  “You have to understand,” Ester said as her strong arms swiftly turned the wheelchair. “You went through major surgery, Cory. You’re not going to be back to your old self ov
ernight. With time and care, you’ll be as good as new, but until then….”

  “I hear ya, Ester. Thanks for keeping an eye on me,” Cory said, immediately sobering as she backed into his door, opening it for both of them. He tried to stay optimistic and look at the bright side of the world within the hospital walls, but every time he remembered his wife, down just two floors from him, his bright thoughts immediately changed to worry.

  He imagined the look on her face as she received the dreaded phone call from the hospital about his heart attack. The crow’s feet that only accentuated her blue, speckled eyes would crease with worry. The long slender fingers of one hand would cover her mouth as the other grasped the phone tightly to her ear. Her long hair, only more beautiful with age, would fly behind her as she rushed for her purse and the door. He imagined her on her journey to the hospital, probably the longest twenty minutes in her life. And then….the thoughts of her last few moments awake were too painful for him to conjure. He studied his toes instead, distracting himself from the vivid images of the accident that were all too real in his imagination. He didn’t have to be there to know what she thought. He didn’t have to witness it to know her only concern was for him, never herself.

  Oh Jordan, he thought, rubbing his temples. You never do anything for yourself do you? Cory remembered the countless stories Jordan had told him about her early working years. Time after time she had sacrificed her well-being…her time…and her heart and soul for others. Her first actions were always for those surrounding her. Sometimes he wondered if she’d ever had a selfish thought in her life. Probably not, he decided. Cory knew he needed to convey to her how much he needed her. She would come back for him. She would fight if she knew how much her return meant to him.

  “Do this for me,” he whispered once he was alone with his wife. “Come back for me.”

  * * * *

  Jordan was chilled to the bone. She felt a violent shiver begin in the depths of her organs. The convulsion did not reach her extremities. It stayed deep inside her body as she felt pure relief to notice the dull glow of the returning light. Fuzzy at first, the light quickly took the cold from her, replacing it with an ideal temperature. Jordan was perfectly warm as her shape came into focus in her mind’s eye. She stood before a full-length mirror, scowling at herself in a glimmering knee length blue gown. No one likes how they look at this age, she supposed with a maturity beyond her years, turning to inspect herself from the side. Fingering the pearl necklace and matching bracelet her mother lent her for the evening, she fastened each on for the finishing touch.